Sleeping Solo: Avoiding Sex with the Ex
May 21st, 2009
People going through a divorce experience a tumult of emotions. There is anger, hurt, hope, desperation, and a whole bunch of other feelings that may cloud the judgment of one or both when it comes to the status of a relationship or marriage. However, one of those feelings is the sexual tension, that awkwardness that plays between mutual attraction to just plain lust, and these feelings can wreak havoc on divorce proceedings. Before you find yourself rushing drunk, tear-stained, and then passion-driven into the arms and bed of your ex, here are a few reasons why avoiding sex with your ex is a wise move.
1. You are no longer bound to your ex the same way he or she is bound to you. Once divorced, or while in the process of obtaining one, you no longer have to limit yourself to just sleeping or spending a night with your ex. When you do sleep with your ex, feelings such as jealousy and ownership flare up again, leaving you confused and distraught. If you or your ex are seeing others, this could also flare up more issues than you can handle.
2. A divorce is meant to severe ties, even emotional and sexual ones.
A divorce is not just a simple separation of living space, or a change in name and civil status. It is a separation that is grounded on differences that hamper a union. Ideally, once couples are divorced, they part ways and start over after severing marital, sexual, and emotional ties with each other. Sleeping with an ex may just be only for sex, but it sort of brings back other ties that should have been severed when the divorce was granted.
3. Friendships are always complicated with sex. For those who want or need to maintain contact with their ex (for the sake of the children), friendship is the next inevitable thing. However, that too can be complicated with sleeping with an ex especially if the children learn that the parents are “back together again.” It’s best to keep the relationship a platonic one in order to build up lives of your own.
Photo Credit : Pink Moose