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Self-talk is not simply talking to yourself about the mental list of what you need to accomplish for the day; it also refers to the actual things you say and the tone in which you say them.  It goes beyond talking to yourself, to that of identifying the type of self-talk, whether it’s positive or negative.

People oftentimes do negative self-talk without them knowing it.  They scold themselves angrily upon making mistakes.  They call themselves through derogatory names, which, unknowingly to them, can damage their self-esteem.  They put it in their heads that they are worthless and that they can never do anything right.  This is negative self-talk.  You should kick off the habit of negative self-talk.  If you continue to do it, chances are, you are going to believe them and eventually, you might turn into that negative person you molded yourself to be.

These negative things you say to yourself usually starts during your childhood, when adults in your childhood life would say something negative or unkind about you.  These are hurtful words and experiences, and unless you stop telling them repeatedly to yourself, you will forever be buried into this negative self-talk cycle.  Stop this negative self-talk now and try these simple tips for a start:

1.  Be more aware when doing self-talk.  Keep listening to yourself.  It takes patience to totally do away with negative self-talk, but it pays to be patient.  Once you’re listening to yourself, you’ll be able to “catch yourself” when you’re saying negative things.

2.  Question the negative talk.  When you hear yourself starting to self-talk negatively, stop and question those negative things.  Do you really make more mistakes than other people? Stop calling yourself derogatory names.  Anyway, it’s not all the time that you make those mistakes.  Remember to focus on your strengths.

3.  Change those negative messages into positive ones.  When you notice that you are starting to say unkind and untrue things to yourself, immediately change them to positive messages.  Remember that positive messages can empower you.  It only takes a little effort from you to enjoy promising rewards such as higher self-esteem, stronger self-respect, and a sense of confidence in your capabilities.  This won’t happen with a snap of a finger, but the harder you try to turn your self-talk into an empowering talk, the more confident you will become.

Photo Credit : Modified Enzyme

People who have low self-esteem have, at some points in their life, been subjected to negative messages from other people, the media, and even themselves. However, positive thoughts from others and from themselves can help them overcome their stubborn shyness and come out as the courageous and confident social beings that they are. The process of overcoming fears of rejection is not as smooth and fast as changing into another set of clothes. Small things such as believing in affirmations can help one break out of that shell and gain some confidence, as long as these phrases or mantras are crafted in the most convincing and positive way. Here are just a few tips on how to craft the effective affirmation to boost your ego.

1)  Use the present tense.

The problem with affirmations in future tenses such as “I will be a friendly person” is that there is still time until you actually become that friendly person. This leads to putting off what should be undertaken in order to be more outgoing and confident. Think “I am a friendly person” and instantly feel how these words affect you and the way you interact with people immediately.

2)  Recite and repeat.

They say that practice makes perfect; this is why mentally or verbally reading your affirmations over and over again can help you feel the power that these words have. Have a ritual such as a morning prayer where you recite your favorite affirmation to help you get through your day. This positive habit works its charm on your self-esteem and can help you gather enough confidence when facing any situation.

3)  Wait.

Though affirmative phrases can help give you the lift and the courage that you need, it takes a lot of time for it to grow on you. Negative messages don’t just change tune overnight, and may take a few weeks or a few months more. However, you won’t be the first one to notice the change though, but the other people who you meet, talk to, and form relationships with can attest to how your consistent belief in affirmative phrases have raised your self-esteem and changed your outlook in life.

Photo Credit : jbcurio